DR. RUDORFER: Thank you.
Speaker 59, please.
MS. WILD: On September 9, 2001, in a
state of confusion and hopelessness, I put a.38
Special, Smith & Wesson revolver under my chin and
pulled the trigger.
In going through withdrawal from Paxil, I
lost all ability to cope and reason and without
realizing it, became suicidal. I suffered from
sleeplessness, night sweats, light and sound
sensitivity, irritability, and dizziness.
I was in a constant state of terrible
anxiety and felt as though the only thing holding
me together was my skin. I couldn't understand why
others weren't seeing things my way, as though I
was speaking in another language. I was told by my
therapist that I had drifted into a fantasyland.
She said it was though my system had been
poisoned somehow, I was told not to worry, the only
way to die from this drug was to fill a tub with
Paxil and water and drown in it.
The side effects I experienced on Paxil,
even though I reported them to my doctor, were
dismissed because no one was warned that Paxil
could cause what I was experiencing.
If I, at 41 years old, could not
articulate what was happening, how do you expect a
There is no real medical explanation for
my survival. The front of my face was blown away,
leaving a hole large enough to encompass a man's
fist. The bullet miraculously only took two-thirds
of my tongue, most of my mandible and my cheek
bones. The maxilla was shattered.
The orbit of my left eye was broken and
forced the eyeball out onto what remained of my
left cheek. It completely destroyed my hard and
soft palate along with my nose and sinus cavity.
I was blessed, though. I may not able to
taste or smell, but at least I lived. I can see,
talk, and I can hear. But more surprising than any
of those, I have brain function. I truly believe
my life was spared for a reason. That reason is so
I can prevent others from experiencing what I
DR. RUDORFER: Thank you very much.